Comments on: Yuma “Coffee Guy”

by: Larry

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:27:12 +0000

Please, don’t encourage me. I’m sure Pat’s a cool guy and I’m with Michael T, kudo’s for dedicating years to coffee!

by: Chris Tingom

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:08:52 +0000

That’s a classic. You’d be really good at Caption Contest Friday’s over on BrainFuel.

by: Larry

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:58:08 +0000

“Roberts knows just about all there is to know about America’s favorite caffeinated beverage.”

With this breaking news, the coffee industry worlwide is reported to be in a panic. David Schomer of Vivace was rumored to be heard muttering over and over in a corner, “my lifes work is done, there is nothing left to discover”. Sources in Italy close to Dr. Ernesto Illy are reporting that the Illy roasting works and associated labratories will begin shutting down all of their operations beginning next month with a complete closure of their facilities expected by late summer. “This news is shocking to us and completely caught us unaware, but so be it, if we have nothing left of benefit to offer the coffee industry, then the writing is on the wall” said Dr. Illy

Traffic in all directions into Yuma, Arizona is said to be at a standstill as all manner of coffee people from around the world are making a “pilgramage” of sorts in hopes of just getting a brief glimpse of this new coffee luminary. Lt. Olsen of the Yuma Police Dept doesn’t expect the roadway congestion to ease up anytime soon. “This is just crazy” says Olsen, “but it is coffee after all and this is big news”.

Barista Don Doubleshot from Carey, NC was one of the first people to arrive in Yuma after driving non-stop for two days in hopes of being the first person to try the hammer and plastic bag technology on the slab out back. “This will completely change how people grind coffee. I’m usually the last person to hear about these things, so I’m feeling pretty lucky right now!”

News of this magnitude will have far reaching effects and it’s impact is not expected to lessen any time soon. “It’s about time someone finally learned almost everything there is to know about coffee, now I can sleep better at night” said Intelligentsia’s Director of Coffee, “we all can!”

Disclaimer and notes; I have not verified any of the above reportings or quotations and believe them to be totaly fictous and completely unreliable. I also found the traffic between Phoenix and Yuma rather light this morning when driving down to pick up some Highlander Grog.

by: Jason Haeger

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 22:13:24 +0000

I hate how it’s considered ethical for editors to re-word things.

by: Chris Tingom

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 21:43:56 +0000

It also slightly sounds like something an editor would goof up.

by: Jason Haeger

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 21:03:23 +0000

That’s got the be the quote of the week.

“Coffee is picked from fields as a green bean and shipped to various roasters throughout the world, where it is processed and roasted.”

*sigh*

by: Michael T

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 04:53:25 +0000

The part about picking green beans has me worried about the rest of the story. But my hat’s off to Roberts for dedicating years to coffee, and especially selling eggnog year-round (mmmm).

by: TOMAS

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 04:41:13 +0000

Cool find, it’s a nice read! You should have him as a guest blogger one day.

by: Jason Haeger

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:29:02 +0000

okay™

I know at least one roaster he buys from by name.